whooooo. I'm not sure if Ima be emo Zoe right now...maybe. Anyway, I have to journal a lot this break and I have like 15 more entries to write. I'll try tonbe funny but I don't know if I can. Just to busy self deprecating. Whooo. No mostly what I've been doing recently is listening and taking my moms shit as she acts like a 6 y/o even though she told me that she'll start trying to pay attention to the fact that I get "anxious sometimes", giving advice on helping a person who is suicidal, still taking my moms shit as she didn't only make a scene once, but twice and made me cry, not getting presents from my dad. Like he apparently ordered me silicone juggling balls in the mail and I understand that they're expensive but my brother got an expensive computer and my sister gets cash every other day. Can I at least expect something once in a while? Like maybe he'll get me something that he realizes I want instead of just getting me one thing off of the 5 item long Christmas list. I mean, he also got me maybe 4 $20 a piece juggling clubs but I asked for those last year. And he promised me on multiple occasions this year that he would go and buy them. Sorry, I know I sound like a selfish asshole who's complaining cause they got the wrong color of boots but no, I didn't get anything. I'm just tired of people assuming that since I can't say no or that I can't stand up for myself and actually tell people what I want for once that they can just walk all over me and expect that I'm ok 24/7 and that I don't mind. Like I just want someone to randomly ask me, completely randomly, if I want to talk about all the shut in my life recently. Like maybe I just want to be appreciated for once? Or thanked? Now I sound like my mom. I really don't want to be like her, luckily when I grow up, I'll just keep on giving people shit and surpresding my feelings till I just don't recognize the will to live anymore instead of barging into the house 20 minutes late, asking for someone's seat when they're done, not getting the seat because the person isn't done, and then proceeding to scream at the whole family that since the divorce everyone hates you and they all want to be with Tim. You know it's hard when you're trying to stay clean but the only thing going theouh your head is how much you want to cut.
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AuthorHey y'all, this is really emo. It's also really old. I'm in high school now, so if you're reading this, please stop, as it's very cringy. I'm 14 now, by the way. Archives
September 2018
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