Hello?
Are you listening? Can you hear the loud, ricocheting hits? They bound from corner to corner, always just missing the center. The center of the room They're trying to find the midddle but that's not the path that they were put on Only meant to hit the corners But someone will come by and will be annoyed by the din. So they will hit it off it's course, and it won't hit the corners anymore. It will reach the whole room, hitting all around, every corner and every wall, every nook, every cranny. Until someone is annoyed by the din again And they will set it free But for now, it only hits corners, staying in the same pattern, over and over.
0 Comments
I hate being alone around people.
They think you're listening but you're not and you don't give a f**k about what they're saying I hate being alone around people they're consumed in their own little conversations Not even noticing how you're just standing there and no one gives a f**k about you I hate being alone around people I'm always being dragged into social situations where no realizes that you, in fact, do not know anything about the topic and you certainly do not give a f**k about books you haven't read or music you haven't listened to I hate being alone around people cause y'all are just so much better than me and you know that cause if I were better than you you'd give a f**k about me standing there alone I hate being alone around people but when I try to talk I automatically don't understand and I'm left to be alone around no one but myself and I don't give a f**k about myself cause I'm not interesting and blah blah s**t about loneliness I hate being alone around people unless I choose to be alone by myself but that never works cause as soon as I leave you alone to talk about your s**t y'all notice and suddenly I'm the main attraction and f**k you I was trying to get the f**k away from you but you won't goddamn leave me alone now Hello hi what's up I don't know I'm just trying to make a really really long because I can and it looks like fun and I'm trying to distract myself from what's really happening and if you've read my blog in the past you know that I've been battling depression and self harm and it's really hard to not cut but I'm still hanging on and right now I'm just trying to stop the invasive thoughts and make it through today until I fall asleep speaking of which I never actually got my antidepressants which sorta scares me cause I don't know what they've bed doing or if they've just made everything worse. I'll try to make it though tonight. I promise. I promise to try. I think I'll make it. I'll try my hardest. Thanks, this always helps cause it lets me move my fingers really fast which is one of my main fidgets.
Cheese is good cheese is delicious cheese is interesting cheese varies in flavor church's cheese is my favorite flavor of cheese hahahah looook at that cheese over there doesn't it look so appetizing and interesting cool funny thing thing about that it is a great app that is the first place I have ever seen with the color and I the way he is my brother and my sister I love it and cheese is good and cheese is a really bad app cause I love my brother and whaaaaat are youuuu doing hahaha. This is great fun dinner funnier funny blogging is fun cause it's coooool and I should have just chosen to do a journal but Ehhh I'm too lazy and I actually really don't like blogging. It's boring and it's not as private. Its really weird. I should write more poems on here. Then I could find them whenever I want to read poems. I lost my poetry book recently and I'm really mad cause I didn't write down like half of my poems in other places. Oooo I think I'm gonna go write more on other entries cause I don't write enough.
Hello! This quarter is gonna be great. Hopefully Mr. Streit won't take away points for inconsistent blog entries again. Honestly I don't really care anymore. I'm just gonna shoot for getting 6,000 words this time. Let's hope I do. Anyways, today so far has been pretty good. I might go and check how many entries/how often other people did blog entries on the blogs on Streit's website. That would be boring but at least I might get some proof that not everyone has 6,000 words and blogs daily. That's just too much work, but yet again, Streit's expectations are too high. I hope Olive writes a poem for the Poetry & Short Stories poetry book cause I s**t you not there is a 90% chance that Streit will blame me if they don't. He's not gonna blame his bad teaching methods, just me. Ok well anyways, I don't want to force Olive into doing anything so I'll just face his wrath. Byeeeeee!
I really don't know how many blog entries I need but I think I need about 35. I like trains trains are cool train farmers are the core of the American economy and they make trains they do train thingies and make lots of cool trains and red trains and blue trains and OH MY GOD KATES GONNA GET BETTER OML THIS IS FANTASIC AND IM SO HAPPY FOR HER ABD TRAINS ARE COOOOOOL AND OH MY GOD TRAINS S**T THE DEVIL IS COMING BYEEEEE
Please
don't jump off the cliff The water is cold and brisk Jumping is not an activity for a Sunday morning Got to live life like I'm pretending not to be bleeding out of my leg cause it really fuc**ng hurts. Oh that would be a good song. Like a panic at the disco song. But really, it hurts. I'm trying to help others get better, but I'm gonna sink deeper. Let's go play the "Fin completely disregards their own body and pretends that they're not bleeding" game! Do I have to make this much longer? I don't know, I just want to go and be done with this cause it's a lot of work. I've been putting a lot of stress on my body recently and I think it's getting bad. I think I was clean on Saturday. That may have been the only day that I was clean. I'm sorry Squidney. I'm sorry Kate. I'm sorry Giz. I'm sorry Charlotte. I'm sorry Roxy. I'm sorry Ellie. I'm sorry Sydney. I'm sorry everyone. I can't deal with it. It's too much now, I can't manage it. You know what this is just great. I hope Mr. Streit never reads my blog in hopes of finding juicy drama, cause I've got none.
Hello hello hello! Today was a good day! I went to the women's march yesterday and ur was awesome. I apologize for the dates, all of them are a bit off cause I'm always making drafts and then never using them until later on. That's probably not good...but still. Anyways, my dad and sister are now calling me Fin and it genuinely makes me really happy. I don't really know when I'm going to ask my mom or my brother but I'll do it eventually. I don't really know what to think about how everything is going with Trump....I'm scared cause no matter how many times someone tells me that as long as we stick together things will work out I know that we can't change everything and how choices for cabinet members especially scare me a lot cause most of them are the worst decisions possible. Anyways, I think I'm getting better, just slowly. I'm happy for the first time in a while, like really genuinely happy. I'm getting my homework done so that's nice. Well, I have to write 2 more entries after this but it's all gonna work out. Ok well I need to go do other homework but I'll come back and write more later! Bye for now
ADHD is not my disability
Yet rather a welcome friend who likes to yell at me They put me where I don't want to be Just like their best friend anxiety Together they make a great team A constant screeching, yelling, mob of thoughts And though I'd like to just stop this nonsense My pill wears away and it carries me With it far away I go From the land of sane people and ordinary minds To the chaos of my life and the monsters screaming creativity Where I'd like to say I love to be But sadly I don't because in the world based off ability My mind is not what builds me But rather it's ADHD, slowly, invisibly killing me |
AuthorHey y'all, this is really emo. It's also really old. I'm in high school now, so if you're reading this, please stop, as it's very cringy. I'm 14 now, by the way. Archives
September 2018
Categories |