Ah ok. So I wrote a few poems last night/this morning. We also had a discussion in advisory about the positive and negative effects of social media. It was weird. Anyways my poems are pretty s**tty so I'm probably not gonna share them. I don't know. It's weird. I'm in class right now so I'll try to keep it light right now. I'm still struggling to ask people to call me Fin. I just get to anxious and I can't do it whenever I think about it. I don't know. It wouldn't really change anything as far as who I'm friends with and sleepovers and all that jazz but like I feel like my mom would make a really big deal out of it and I'd just go back into the closet. I don't know about teachers. Maybe if I came back into 8th grade and asked to be called Fin then it would work out. Sometimes I feel like I'll just stay Zoe for the rest of my life because I can't build up the courage to be called anything else. Anyway, today was group picture day and so far I've been called down like 4 times. We're going to work on poetry today and I'm sorta pissed cause we're working on structured poems and Streit's not here so I don't really have much freedom as to what I can actually do. Also I couldn't find the bra that I'm really comfortable in and it hurts and I think it's what's causing my chest to be really uncomfortable and it's what's making it hard for me to breath. Maybe I'll call my mom over lunch and see if she can bring me a t-shirt and a normal black sweatshirt cause I'm getting pretty uncomfortable right now and it's getting hot and I've had many anxiety attacks today and I'm freaking out now and I don't think anyone notices. It hurts. I just want to breathe and be able to wear the right bra and not have this sinking feeling in my chest. Everything is jumbled. Why does my face feel red? Why are my hands typing faster and faster. Everything is confusing me and I can't focus my eyes on anything. It feels like the world is sort of spinning. I think I'll go try to write some haikus . Sorry. Bye.
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AuthorHey y'all, this is really emo. It's also really old. I'm in high school now, so if you're reading this, please stop, as it's very cringy. I'm 14 now, by the way. Archives
September 2018
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